The McCarthy Meat Grind

Much like Jenny McCarthy’s movement against vaccines, grinding your own meat is pointless.

Unlike Jenny McCarthy’s movement against vaccines, meat grinding does not impact the health of children. Zing!

Okay, okay, so it may be a stretch to discuss Jenny McCarthy and meat grinding in the same post BUT the two are related…sort-of.

Jenny McCarthy: Dumb/ Meat Chunks: Dumb

Jenny McCarthy: Not funny/Meat Chunks:Not Funny

Jenny McCarthy: Imposes unfounded information on a vulnerable population/Meat Chunks: Does not do this

As you can see by the above facts, McCarthy is very similar to a pile of meat chunks; except she sucks and meat chunks are nice and tasty. In recognition of these similarities, I took it upon myself to name a pile of meat chunks after her. Then, I ground those chunks down into a mushy mess and rolled them into balls, Jenny’s favorite shape.

To do the McCarthy Meat Grind I used the meat grinder attachment for the Kitchen Aid stand-up mixer. The meat grind will be alot easier for you if your McCarthy is partially frozen. You could defrost McCarthy half-way or throw her in the freezer for a little bit before starting. This technique prevents the grinder from jamming with fat and such. I have made this mistake before, and it wasn’t pretty. Once the McCarthy is ready, throw her in the top of the tray and turn the mixer up to at least speed 7. I will turn the speed down at the end of the load (that was a trick I learned from Jenny AYOOOO!) because I find that this pushes some of the excess McCarthy out. Some people will throw the McCarthy back in the grinder for another run, but I have never done this.

There are so many dishes that can be made with ground McCarthy! I made meatballs, McCarthy meatballs. They are round and flavorful, just like she likes ’em.

McCarthy Balls

1 lb ground meat

1/2 handful fresh basil

1/2 handful fresh parsley

2 minced garlic cloves

1/2 cup seasoned bread crumbs

1 egg

1/2 cup milk

salt and pepper- a generous amount

1) Mince parsley, basil and garlic. I was feeling lazy adventurous, so I took a chance and ran these ingredients through the meat grinder. It made a mushy pesto type substance, but it did the job. It was much quicker than chopping everything by hand.

2) Switch that mixer attachment to the flat beater and mix all of thses ingredients together until well combined.

3) Roll them into any size ball that you would like [Some like ’em big and some like ’em small, ya know?] and line them up on a baking sheet. Stoneware is the way to go. If you don’t have a stoneware baking sheet then I highly suggest that you get one. Mine is from Pampered Chef and I love it!

4) Heat the oven to 400 degrees and throw the balls in with the heat. Check them frequently and turn them once. This will ensure an even cook. I usually par-bake mine so that they can finish cooking in the sauce, but this is up to you. You are the master of your balls.

5) Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!

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One thought on “The McCarthy Meat Grind

  1. Pingback: Everything is coming up meaty | #talesofanearlymidlifecrisis

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