WTF Baking

I have many WTF moments in the kitchen. This holiday season, however, I have had more than usual…to say the least.

It all started with the mock Dominique Ansel Chocolate chip cookie shot glass recipe…


Pfffft, yea fucking right. I pressed the unchilled dough (yep, supposed to be chilled) into the muffin pan (they suggested a popover pan, whatever!) and prayed over the oven. Apparently, God was too busy to take care of my baking problems that day and that shit turned into chocolate chip muffins real fast. My family’s initial reaction went as expected: “WTF are those?”


Oh, yeah. After the first batch of muffin cookies, I switched to a mini bundt pan. This only added to the what the fuck-ness…errrr welp. Ya win some, ya lose some.

you’ll be happy to know (or maybe not) that I did not let this bump in the road get me down! Yesterday, I bravely took on another mucho creative cookie recipe (fuck you, Pinterest) and then…this… happened:


In all fairness, it sort of looks like the picture:


I’m sure many of you are assuming that I stopped here, because obviously I peaked. Nope. Can’t stop. Won’t stop.


Today, I forged forward with a thumbprint cookie recipe written to yield 60 cookies. That is 6-0. Unsurprisingly,  my execution of this recipe, using all of the exact same measurements, made 18 lumpy, jelly filled lumps. This is 42 Lumpy lumps less than the original recipe. I s’ ppose this is the Godly miracle I was waiting for, because they kind of suck.


Okay, time to clean up. Whomp-whomp.


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