And $100,000 later, here I am

It’s safe to say that art school was a big fucking waste of money. With that being said, I sometimes utilize the $100,000 education in the creation of mediocre DIY projects, such as turkey cupcakes, ornaments and this baby name painting:


This painting was “commissioned” by my aunt. By commissioned I mean she came to me with her thick Brooklyn accent and said, “Dan, my friend’s havin’ a baby. I need you to make a thing for the wall. Just make it nice.” So I cleared my schedule and took on the project like a champ…Okay, stop looking at me like that. You’re right. I had nothing else to do.  My schedule was completely open (womp, womp).


Good news! I actually remembered to take photos while I was working, so I can give you the play by play.

Step 1: tape out horizontal stripes on the canvas.


Use painters tape and make even rows one tape length apart. I tore two little pieces of tape and used them to keep the space between the stripes even.

Step 2: apply glaze color.


What’s a glaze? A glaze is a translucent medium that is meant to be used in layers. Mix acrylic paint color with matte medium. The more color you add,  the more opaque it will become. For this project the glaze should be transparent but rich in color.


Step 3: let dry and peel off tape.

Step 4: tape vertical stripes.


The vertical taping should be two tapes wide. Paint with the same glaze used in step 2.

Step 5: let dry and peel tape.

Step 6: mix new glaze color in separate cup.

Step 7: use tape to add one more set of vertical stripes and paint with glaze made in step 6.


Step 8: let dry and peel tape.

Step 9: mix white glaze and paint over the entire piece to lighten the plaid pattern.


Step 10: print out the name you are using to scale. This can be done on any computer program but is more easily done on Photoshop, Illustrator, or Indesign.

Step 11: use pencil to color in the letters on the back of the print out.


Step 12: flip the print out and center it on the canvas. Tape it into place and go over the outline of the letters with pencil. This will transfer the letters onto the canvas.

Step 13: paint in the letters with acrylic (not glaze).


And Wallah! A name painting in 13 steps. Fucking magic.


The Farewell Ornament


The roses that were given to me on my last day of work had started to wilt. I knew it wouldn’t be long before I would have to throw them out, but I just couldn’t do that. Although I seriously hated my job, I did have SOME good memories of the dump.

Last year, a Facebook friend had posted an image of an ornament filled with wedding bouquet flowers. I thought this idea was pure genius! Naturally, I didn’t see this post until after my own bouquet had disintegrated, but I thought it could be a great way to preserve these work flowers; so I tried it out.

I’m not gonna lie, it felt pretty damn good to tear apart those petals and shove them into a glass ball where they will stay for all eternity.

Do I sound bitter?